Sunday, September 26, 2010

It's Hard to Re-learn Old Lessons...

Church was hard this morning.  Two things happened in the last week that I really let get to me and that I reacted to in a way that I am not proud of.  I always try to be as Christ like as I possibly can be every day and especially in the way that I react to things that impact me emotionally and situationally in my life.  No small feat let me tell you.  This week I failed big time.  I failed twice.

This morning our preacher, Randy, was talking about a passage in 1 Peter.  I turned to follow the passage he was referring to, 1 Peter 2:4-11, but God had other plans for me this morning.  He, instead, diverted my attention to 1 Peter 2:13-25:

"But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 
 22"He committed no sin,
      and no deceit was found in his mouth."
23When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 25For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

This is how I failed.  I retaliated.  I felt hurt, angry, insulted, and offended.  I felt an injustice had happened to me (in two separate instances in one week), that crimes had been committed against me, and I needed to defend myself, to protect myself, and the offenders needed to pay and learn from their mistakes.  God showed me this morning, although He has revealed this to me previously in my past, that this behavior is not what He wants from me.  He wants me to turn my cheek, to bear the burden of the offense, and to entrust myself to Him who judges justly.  It is not for me to measure what is right and what is wrong, it is Him, He has not called me to do that.  It is not for me to defend myself when a crime is done against me, as it is done to me it is done unto Him, and He is the one that will choose what action if any needs to be taken.  It is my job to forgive and to consistently and continually live in that forgiveness every moment, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

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