Saturday, November 13, 2010

Family Home Life

Me and My Mama
As I grow older there are certain things that I am very aware of that I never noticed, or I just took for granted, while I was growing up.  One of those things is living with family.  Growing up our home was usually full.  My parents were home bodies when they weren't working and I remember being most comfortable in the privacy of my bedroom when I could still hear the sounds of their presence drifting up through the vents.  TV, cooking sounds, muffled conversation, etc. consistently reminded me that although I was spending quality time with myself, I was never actually alone, company and good conversation was just down the stairs should I choose to take advantage of it.  That made me feel very secure.

My sister and my beautiful Niece
This feeling, a house humming with life, everyone doing their own thing but somehow still tied together, is I think, unique to living with family.  The closest I ever got to it was living in a single in the dorms in college and even then it felt a little awkward to leave my door open, inviting people in.

True loneliness wasn't an something I experienced until later in life.  I think a lot of this just comes with being incredibly comfortable with your family.  You don't have to put in the time to get to know each other, figure each other out and all that, you have always known these people.  I think it's another reason I love going to visit my sister at her home so often.  It is so nice to just sit back and be me without a thought as to how anyone else in the house might interpret me, my reactions, my preferences.  They just, almost intuitively, get me and know that I have the best of intentions.  I don't have anything to prove to them.  I think I am and have always been concerned about offending my roommates by asking them things that they may feel isn't their responsibility, by getting in their way, by sometimes just wishing I were invisible so that I didn't bother them.  I guess we would commonly refer to this as walking on eggshells.  This isn't necessarily or in all cases their fault, but my own insecurity creeping in.
2 of my favorite Roomies and our Janie

I have had, lets see...12 roommates in the 10 years I have been out of high school.  (Sometimes living in groups of 2 sometimes in groups of 3).  I quickly learned in these situations that although most of my roommates have been wonderful, some are still my best friends to this day, it is rare to find someone to live with that you feel totally comfortable with.  It's difficult to find friends that love you as your family does, with all your faults in place, unconditionally.  I have been blessed to find those conditions a few times, but more often roommates never quite get there.  Also, it's always a temporary living situation, in my case, as I don't plan on being unmarried without children forever, and no matter how much I love my roommate, I doubt she wants to move in with me and my new husband when we get our first place ;-)  That is what I have found myself craving these past 4 years or so.  A home created organically and buzzing with life and love.
I lived with both these beauties!

Maybe that's why I sometimes feel "homeless."  My parents live over 6 hours away, my sister 3.  I often wish I could just have my mom over to watch a movie and eat popcorn randomly on a Saturday night.  I envy those that have this option.

Me and my current roomie Katie G!
Luckily, right now I have a very sweet and wonderful roommie.  She is considerate and kind and, thank GOD, very communicative.  We are still getting to know each other, getting comfortable with one another, but I respect her very much and I think that can often be the root of it, the root of most things good in this world.  God, Love, and mutual Respect.  Get those in line and it's much harder to go wrong.

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