The Libspot

I'm in the mood to run.

2011-09-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

I'm in the mood to run but perhaps not the kind of running you think. Not the legs pumping, heart pounding, sweat pouring physical endeavor. I am in the mood to pack a light bag, get in my car on this cool morning, turn up some musical poetry to an all consuming volume, and drive drive drive, windows down, cool fall air in my hair, and take a long break from my life.

Lately, I have been very blessed. But these blessings come with responsibilities, probably more responsibilities than I have ever encountered before in my life. For the most part, I am enjoying this adventure, planning an event to remember for the rest of our lives. But with every aspect to consider enters about twenty more tasks or steps and about one to three new contacts to coordinate with. I feel the need to drive till I see an ocean and throw my cell phone in it, and then climb into said ocean myself just to float. To let a creation God made hold me up to feel as if I was literally in His hands, which, I guess, I am.

I'm tired though. I'm not exactly overwhelmed as I have a handle on things, but I am yearning a bit for those days when there are no plans except to breathe. I miss my fiance and just the ability to simply BE together without the outside world constantly giving us it's two cents. I wouldn't mind throwing him in that car too along with my lightly packed bag and lyrical poetry of Joni and Patty. I just want to sing, rest, shed the responsibilities, until I am good and ready to return and get back to work.

God will always provide.

2011-08-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

Last week was the hardest week of my life. Ben took me to the hospital very early Tuesday morning and I was diagnosed with a kidney stone. I will spare you the gory details but I will just tell you that, after literally writhing in pain for hours, and then having to go through more pain spells over the following few days, I am more grateful than ever to be rid of the stone, be back to work, and for the most supportive and loving man by my side.

All that being said, I missed 3 full days of work. My vacation time doesn't renew to September. Leave it to me to have an emergency in the last month of my vacation days when the three I have left have been so carefully banked for a lovely trip to Chicago with Ben to see friends, family, and my 10 year HS reunion. That's just the way it goes though. Add in the new medical expenses and, needless to say, I was really worried about money in general and for our trip.

I went to church on Sunday morning and I prayed to God in worship. I didn't ask for anything in particular, just took the time to spend with Him. I remember struggling over giving my tithe. I prayed about how much I could afford in my giving and decided to give as much as I could even if it was hard. God had brought me out of a really hard place. I remember thinking, "This is one way I give back to God for His blessings, and the blessings to come, however they will present themselves." I try not to be a reluctant giver. Please don't think I am trying to get credit for my actions here, it's just that this personal detail is applicable to the rest of my story.

Yesterday, I came back to work and my boss, in his true generous and wonderful fashion offered to let me work extra hours to make up for my lost time. I was so happy to hear this and it really relieved so much stress. I thought I was going to have to go back to the restaurant and pick up shifts to make up the difference (something I am trying hard to not have to do) but now I have a way.

Then the most miraculous thing happened. I got a card from a client that we worked with to get her home rented. We only work in sales and usually help our sellers find rentals only as a favor to them since we don't get paid in the process as there is no real commission standard for rentals in TN. It's hard work to find a renter and often involves more work than even finding a buyer does. I had done a lot for this seller in finding her a renter but I never expected a personal thank you from her, this just hasn't happened before in this job.

So I get this card, thanking me for my work, and there is a check inside with my name on it! Just when I was down and out, just when I thought I wasn't going to be able to do the things I planned in Chicago with Ben, just when I thought the lost work and medical expenses were going to swallow me alive, there was God, working through this lovely woman to bless me and to bring me home. I truly believe this was God's work in my life, the timing was so uncanny. Always give praise!

I'm trying to be more mindful of this...

2011-06-30T11:26:00.001-07:00

God Has a Plan for Your Life
by Rick Warren

“[A]nd let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.” Hebrews 12:1c (NLT)

I’ve said many times that God has a plan for your life. But what I want to emphasize is that his plan, which Paul describes as a race in today’s verse, is custom-designed for you and you alone.

You are supposed to run the race God has set for you. Not the race you set for yourself, not the race other people set for you, and not the race culture sets for you. You only run the race God has set for you. If you try to run any other course, you are going to fail and get discouraged.

The reason why so many people are discouraged today is that they are trying to please other people. Living for the approval of others is a weight that holds you back. You need to stop!

How do you know what is the race God wants you to run? Look at your SHAPE. Your SHAPE is your Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality and Experiences. What are you gifted to do? What do you love? What are your abilities? What is your personality? What are your experiences?

God doesn’t want rabbits to fly and eagles to swim. They are shaped to do what they are supposed to do, and you are shaped to do what God wants you to do. So stop trying to run other people’s races and go run God’s race for you!

Take a look at this new curriculum from Saddleback Resources: Raising Your Kids without Raising Your Blood Pressure.

This devotional is copyrighted 2011 by Rick Warren. Used by permission.

Deborah

2011-05-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

To me you are Chanel No 5, Sandlewood, lazy summer days, peaches dripping down my chin, Farmers Markets, VW vans with bad seatbelts, smokes, Coca-Cola Classic cans, rope swings, skinny dipping in the lake, magic mud, fireflies, colors, painting, teaching me art is just me and that is beautiful enough, in fact it's the most beautiful thing. That's what you are to me. The most beautiful thing, you made my childhood magical. I miss you already and I can hardly stand it.

A Day in the Life

2011-05-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

Taken from one of my favorite blogs: Very Culinary

Weather outside: According to my Iphone 75 degrees and sunny. (It's rainy in my head though...been a little bit of a sadness day for me, woke up weepy and too reflective. ADDITIONALLY a cicada was in my car and some church lady thought I was crazy when I pulled my car over frantically begging her to get it out. I might note I did not have a clue who this said church lady was. BLESS HER.)

On my desk: Papers, files, things I have failed to keep organized, I'm working on all this today.

On my lap: I wish I could say a puppy but truly there is nothing on my lap unless you count my pants.

On my feet: Old flats that I want to replace but can't afford to. *Sigh*

On my nightstand: Eat, Pray, Love. So far I love it.

On my mind: How I can get more involved, more active, strengthen my friendships, etc.

In my Amazon shopping cart: I'm more a library girl...

In the Netflix queue: Legend's of the Fall, Out of Africa, and The Sandlot

In the oven: So far this week it was more crock pot Pot Roast and Rotisserie Chicken in my Ronco...

In my ears: My book on tape House Rules by Jodi Picoult

In my tummy: Leftovers :-)

In my future: Tonight Zumba with my favorite...Lorenza!

On tap for dinner: Probably a quick pasta night since it's just me BUT tomorrow I am making either curry chicken or bison flank steak!

Latest obsession: Looking forward to my debt being paid off and these Pottery Classes!!

Happy Thursday, everyone! What’s on your nightstand? In your Netflix queue? In the oven?

A new Wee bit Wednesdays...and a day late at that!

2011-05-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

{one} what profession have you always admired?Social Work. Sometimes I think I want to BE a social worker because they are so amazing and courageous...then I realize I'm NOT that courageous. My grandmother, my sister, my mother, my aunt, ALL social workers changing the world one client at a time.
{two} what would the title of your memoir/biography be if it was written today?"The Unexamined Life is not Worth Living..." Is it bad if my title is a quote from someone else? I am a the ultimate collaborator.
{three} how far do you commute to work?5 minutes! Lucky girl!
{four} are your earlobes attached or detached?Attached.
{five} do you eat the unpopped kernels of popcorn at the bottom of the bag?Only if they’re half unpopped…yup.
{six} what is the strangest gift you’ve ever received?Not sure I have anything strange. I have gotten many wonderful gifts. Maybe one of the most creative was my Daddy at Christmas. He gave me a box inside a box inside a box inside a...well you get the idea and in the final box was 100 $1 bills. Awesome when you are 12...or even now!
{seven} what is one tv show that you wish hadn’t been cancelled?Maybe Heroes... I am watching it now and I am in like season 3 but it did seem to last a while. I also loved that one with Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser...Mad About You!
{eight} what is something that you are saving money for right now?Trip to Chicago at the end of August with my honey!
{nine} what hobby would you like to take up?Pottery Throwing. I grew up with a potter in the family and I used to do it as a kid. I want to do it now as an adult!
{ten} how many times a year do you get really dressed up?As often as possible. Hopefully at least once a month. I go to a lot of benefits :-)

I love those girls with the cockney accents...

2011-04-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

Chock another one up for Londoners...this girl kicks.

Help kids with cancer!

2011-04-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

Well, most of you know I hate it when people have cancer. I HATE IT. Cancer sucks. So how can cancer be any meaner? It can affect little kids. Boooooo cancer!! So let's help kids and keep working to kick cancer's butt!

This video is dedicated to Gretchen and Larry Witt, in the memory of their son Liam, who would have been seven years old this year.

CNN Hero Narayanan Krishnan - My new role model

2011-03-30T12:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord, make me a servant like this man. Why are we all so weak? Thank you for his life.

See his CNN article here...

I have a confession, I have an obsession....

2011-03-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

Adele, like most of us, has stolen my heart and I can't get enough. Neither can the CD player in my car, my computer at work, or my Iphone. Somehow, we were able to score tickets for her Ryman show in a few months (not somehow actually...it was Bruno magic). She hits all the essential elements for me. Sultry sound, R&B influence, reminiscent of the 60's style. I even adore her use of fake eyelashes and beehive-esk hair styles. I love loving her for just being her. Her talent is impeccable and she strikes me as a woman who is just doing what she does best. Not over produced, just genuine, my favorite kind of everything in this world.

Check out this incredible NPR "Tiny Desk Concert". Did I mention I also admire her sheepish humility too?

How To Be Alone

2011-03-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

I know a lovely lady named Ellen and she recently shared this video on her blog. Ben is out of town until Monday and he goes on trips very often. In the last 5 years or so I have forgotten how to take joy in being alone. Perhaps it is because when I lived in Chicago I was surrounded by people but felt more alone than ever and I don't like revisiting that feeling. Lately I have decided not to revisit it, but redefine it instead.

This video very much illustrates my new mindset and even gave me some more ideas that I am excited and motivated to try out while I am alone. I especially love the dancing one, although I'm not sure I am brave enough for that one just yet. If it wasn't pouring outside I would take that hike but instead I am going to visit the library stacks (not uncommon for me) and then curl up with some Sleepytime tea and a book. Maybe even the one my friend Annie Downs wrote...(From Head to Foot). From here on out, every time I am worried or anxious about being alone, I am going to re-watch this video and feel strong. In the past few days while Ben has been away I've reconnected with old friends (I get to hang out with a old high school buddy tonight...my 6th grade boyfriend...ooh lala...and his beautiful new girl), I have seen some incredible music, I finished one book, caught up on my trashy TV, cleaned my room (still working on this one), and plan for much more.

I always prefer having Ben by my side, but it is important for both of us that my inner joy is satisfied and he can enjoy his time away without having to worry about me. Although I am sad to miss beautiful Katie Bruno's senior vocal recital at The U, and an opportunity to see Ben's family, so far, this trip has been lovely.

Poem written and Performed by Tanya Davis who I know want to get to know.

Quote from the Creator of The Good Wife Supper Club

2011-03-02T15:51:00.000-08:00

The Good Wife Supper Club She knows my heart.....

"Angela Hirst* once told me that my cooking style was wholesome. When I made food, attention was paid to everything and it was lovingingly brought together and presented as a whole, beautiful dish. I have thought about that many times, when I reflect on why it is I cook. I don’t cook because I think I am the best or extrodinarily gifted. I cook because I am chasing after this ideal of what good food can mean – health, pleasure, connection to persons and seasons, culture, inspiration, etc, etc. I want all the beauty food can bring because life is hard sometimes. Like now, it’s hard. I worry about what I’m going to cook and I worry about life, and then I start cooking and it brings my focus to the pleasure of my simple tasks at hand – make soup, chop this, roast that, whip that over there. And then I am consumed in a world of comforting smells and satisfying bites, sharing with others, and it makes me feel whole."

Trying to live like THIS.

2011-02-18T12:27:00.000-08:00

The Eat Clean Me

2011-02-08T17:55:00.000-08:00

Miss Heather Trabucco and her amazing blog called A Shaped Life recently turned me on to The Eat Clean Diet created by Tosca Reno. Ben and I have been reading this book (I'm trying for cover to cover) and so far we have learned so much. I think the trouble I have is I just don't really know how to eat healthy. Yeah I know I can grab an apple over a candy bar, but I am talking about consistent lifestyle changing eating. It takes so much planning and I am not a very patient person.

I'm challenging myself to literally change my tastebuds. I want to get to the point where I no longer crave a Fillet o' Fish (I just saw half of you cringe) but instead want and actually get satisfied by fruits and vegetables. It's not that I hate veggies (I add mushrooms to my cream sauces all the time! Haha), I've just never enjoyed the taste of raw veggies. I really want this to change.

I'm combining this with my free and lovely Iphone/Web App called Lose It! It is an old faithful for me and I am using it to move on from Weight Watchers. Weight Watchers is great, for most, but I need something different. The Lose It app is improved and better than ever!

I, Libby Marshall, have started putting wheat germ on my cereal. Who ever thought I would say that. Go check out this book!

Five things that have captured my heart...

2011-01-28T14:03:00.000-08:00

Paris Fashion Week

Ok so I only in the last 4 years or so really started paying attention to and learning about fashion. There are a few fashion blogs I subscribe to and I have also found myself indulging in Vogue and Elle. This week I have been captivated by some of the styles from Paris' Fashion Week. Check these out. Incredible...I love the drama of these pieces (oh the gowns!!).

Madmen

Can we PLEASE have a new season already. I am dying here. I miss the style, the red lips, the fragility of humanity for crying out loud! I hear rumors that the premier of Season 5 might not be till fall of 2011. I may wither by then. I kind of miss the days that Ben and I could watch it whenever we wanted cause we had to catch up to the current season since we didn't start when Madmen was born...now this is just torture.

Ugg - The Ashdale

It's a comfy slipper/golf shoe. Don't know why but I just love these little goodies!!

A Fine Frenzy

I just love this fun, flirty, and sweet sound. I love lilting music. Always have. Album is A Bomb in a Birdcage. So far my favorite song is "Happier" and it's all about letting go of someone to make more room for the good in your life. As someone who has always struggled with detachment I really relate. I also love her gorgeous red hair!

Trip Planning

My boyfriend and I like to get out of town. Recently he had been gone on a big trip for work but I haven't left town since the holidays and I wouldn't really call that a vacation. Not to mention he and I were apart. We have been discussing our next trip recently and it looks like we will be headed out of town in a few weeks. I'll jeep you updated once we decide the delicious destination!

Drum Corps...if you aren't aware of this, you need to be.

2011-01-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

Can I just say that drum corps amazes me? I knew about it (very very limitedly) before Ben and I started dating but I never really realized it's magnificence till this past year when Ben took me with him to the Drum Corps International (DCI) competition in Mufreesboro this past year. I was enthralled. The discipline these kids have to display is awe-inspiring. The drama in the performances reminds me of ballet and I am on the edge of my seat throughout each and every performance.

I really wish I gotten the chance to see our dear friend Dan Twiford play with The Cavaliers. I still can't believe that he was a part of this amazing organization. It's so impressive. Now he teaches with Rhythm X.

Below you will find a video of the Army drum Corps. See the MAPEX branding! That's Ben's company! I think it's awesome that they play his brand.

2011-01-26T15:27:00.000-08:00

{one} have you ever been on tv?

Yes, I was a part of this awesome organization with some of my close friends for a while call Giving Back is the New Black and I organized an event to raise money for flood victims in Nashville and the news crews came out!! I'm sad that the news channel no longer has it on their website :-(

{two} what was the best movie you saw last year?

Hmmmm...Inception, Shutter Island, or ...Harry Potter!

{three} do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?Bottom tucked in, everything else..OUT!

{four} do you cut coupons?nope. I probably should, but I don’t. My roommie Katie tries to help me with this too and give me coupons but somehow I always end up at the store without them feeling guilty when self checkout asks me if I have any...

{five} do you ever count your steps when you walk?Not really...maybe if I am working out.

{six} what sauce do you dip your chicken nuggets in?Straight, pure HONEY. Hold the mustard.

{seven} do you have any magazine subscriptions?I had self for a while. Annah got my Country Living and I am obsessed with it. Thanks, Ruthie, for that introdruction

{eight} when was the last time you wrote a letter on paper?Do cards to my boyfriend count? If so, Christmas.

{nine} what’s your favorite fruit pie?Does cobbler count? If so blackberry cobbler...yummmmmmmm.

{ten} black olives or green olives?BOTH! I love olives!!

your turn!

I would be wise to remember this...

2011-01-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

"Your giftedness and charm may open doors but your character will determine what you will do once those doors are open. We can become enamored with a person's gifting and or/charisma in which we then tend to excuse their sin, arrogance, and bad character." ~ Shared by Tiana Song from her pastor one Sunday morning.

Ben and I an New Years Eve 2010

Ben is always talking about character. The Bible is too come to think of it. Ben often uses character as a measure of whether someone can be trusted and is good to have in his/our life. Character can be such an ambiguous term but I think this definition fits best to what I am referring to: "The inherent complex of attributes that determines a persons moral and ethical actions and reactions." Character is one of the most important things that defines us. It shows God, others, and even ourselves the kind of person we really are, what we value, who we value, and how we nurture those values.

I try, daily, to apply this to my life, how I make decisions, and how I treat those around me. Will I go the extra mile for a friend in need? Will I take time that I generally define as "mine" to serve someone else, to consciously spend time with God, to cheer up a friend, to pass on a work of kindness, listen when someone needs it most, or do something just because it is "the right thing to do"?

I think that I am often shocked by others who don't inherently think this way or consider these things. I know I shouldn't be, selfishness and self-centeredness runs rampant in our society, but I honestly just don't know how these people live with themselves. Perhaps I care too much about others feelings but, believe me, I wouldn't choose to have it the other way around. I adore caring for others. Nurturing my friendships, family, and other relationships drives me in this life. If I have to fight my co-dependent nature so be it, but rather that than be an insensitive person. I have been told (honestly by many people over the years) that my efforts to show my love can be "overwhelming" and "too intense". I can see that as being true but I refuse to apologize for loving too hard. I crave deep relationships and that is just a part of who I am.

When I think I have hurt someone I lose sleep at night until I at least try to make it right. I wonder why others are not this way. I am confused by how others are able to deeply hurt the ones they love and completely detach. Perhaps this is harder for them than they show, but all I can see if what they do outwardly. The detachment ability, I must admit, I am jealous of. I think I would be less hurt by some of the rejection in my past had I been able to harness this trait.

Annah Joseph and Little Niece Claire

Which brings me to my next point, I think it's very important for me to remember that it is only through a person's outward actions that I can judge what kind of character they have and how much (or how little) I should allow them into my lives. I am not able to see into their minds, read their emotions (not to mention properly interpret them), or know what motivates them (nor would I always agree with the importance of that motivation). Annah, my beautiful sister, when once I asked her about trying to decipher if someone is trustworthy or the measure of their faith, said to me , "Look at what their feet do." You can never truly know someone else's priorities or motivations, but when it comes to your involvement with them, watch their feet. In other words, what kind of relationships do they create? Are they healthy ones or not? How do they walk through this life? What do they show you is important to them on a daily basis and is that the kind of person you want influencing you and surrounding you? We hate to admit it but others DO effect us. They inspire us, deflate us, and change us. The strength of OUR character is often tested by others, and we sometimes only get to see how strong we are in our efforts to over come their influence.

Make no mistake, even if a person has good character, he or she is still human, will make mistakes, and will sometimes fail to "fix" a mistake they have made. This is when we are asked to be forgiving towards them. We are to love them anyway. This does not however mean that we are to forget; it also doesn't mean that we have to continue an intimate relationship with them. It IS, however, IMPERATIVE that we forgive them. Otherwise we breed hate and resentment in our hearts and that, my friends, can then poison our own character. Something to surely be avoided.

The Bible often refers to character as "fruit". In fact in the NIV version it is mentioned over 150 times. "It appears first in Genesis 1:11, the first book and chapter of the Old Testament, and its final occurrence is in Revelation 22:2, the last book and chapter of the New Testament." (Greg Johnson) Greg states that in his findings if something is repeated frequently in The Bible, there is at least one important lesson to be learned from it. I, also, have found this to be true. I could go on and on about this subject, but when it comes to The Bible it's probably best to let it speak for itself.

Matthew 7:16-20; By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Galatians 5:22-23; But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Matthew 12:33; Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.

Luke 6:43-45; No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Jesus Himself even said:

John 15:1-8; "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."

The "vine" is our community in Christ and we are shown here that, if we leave Christ, we are not to survive, we will wither. So when it comes to character (and fruit) I just need to keep my eye on Christ, to cling to the vine, to be as like Him as I can, and to use the Fruits of the Spirit ("love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control") to the absolute best of my ability. This is the only true character that matters.

Cited: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/662193/the_fruit_of_the_spirit_a_bible_study.html?cat=34

Moving on from Past Hurts

2011-01-13T10:16:00.001-08:00

http://www.bible-knowledge.com/letting-go-of-your-past/

This gets me every time.

2011-01-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

Laura Story - Mighty to Save

Family Home Life

2010-11-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

Me and My Mama

As I grow older there are certain things that I am very aware of that I never noticed, or I just took for granted, while I was growing up. One of those things is living with family. Growing up our home was usually full. My parents were home bodies when they weren't working and I remember being most comfortable in the privacy of my bedroom when I could still hear the sounds of their presence drifting up through the vents. TV, cooking sounds, muffled conversation, etc. consistently reminded me that although I was spending quality time with myself, I was never actually alone, company and good conversation was just down the stairs should I choose to take advantage of it. That made me feel very secure.

My sister and my beautiful Niece

This feeling, a house humming with life, everyone doing their own thing but somehow still tied together, is I think, unique to living with family. The closest I ever got to it was living in a single in the dorms in college and even then it felt a little awkward to leave my door open, inviting people in.

True loneliness wasn't an something I experienced until later in life. I think a lot of this just comes with being incredibly comfortable with your family. You don't have to put in the time to get to know each other, figure each other out and all that, you have always known these people. I think it's another reason I love going to visit my sister at her home so often. It is so nice to just sit back and be me without a thought as to how anyone else in the house might interpret me, my reactions, my preferences. They just, almost intuitively, get me and know that I have the best of intentions. I don't have anything to prove to them. I think I am and have always been concerned about offending my roommates by asking them things that they may feel isn't their responsibility, by getting in their way, by sometimes just wishing I were invisible so that I didn't bother them. I guess we would commonly refer to this as walking on eggshells. This isn't necessarily or in all cases their fault, but my own insecurity creeping in.

2 of my favorite Roomies and our Janie

I have had, lets see...12 roommates in the 10 years I have been out of high school. (Sometimes living in groups of 2 sometimes in groups of 3). I quickly learned in these situations that although most of my roommates have been wonderful, some are still my best friends to this day, it is rare to find someone to live with that you feel totally comfortable with. It's difficult to find friends that love you as your family does, with all your faults in place, unconditionally. I have been blessed to find those conditions a few times, but more often roommates never quite get there. Also, it's always a temporary living situation, in my case, as I don't plan on being unmarried without children forever, and no matter how much I love my roommate, I doubt she wants to move in with me and my new husband when we get our first place ;-) That is what I have found myself craving these past 4 years or so. A home created organically and buzzing with life and love.

I lived with both these beauties!

Maybe that's why I sometimes feel "homeless." My parents live over 6 hours away, my sister 3. I often wish I could just have my mom over to watch a movie and eat popcorn randomly on a Saturday night. I envy those that have this option.

Me and my current roomie Katie G!

Luckily, right now I have a very sweet and wonderful roommie. She is considerate and kind and, thank GOD, very communicative. We are still getting to know each other, getting comfortable with one another, but I respect her very much and I think that can often be the root of it, the root of most things good in this world. God, Love, and mutual Respect. Get those in line and it's much harder to go wrong.

My book list

2010-10-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have recently rekindled by love of reading. For some reason over the last few years I had started getting off the reading train, at least reading for pleasure. Now it is back in full swing. My boyfriend likes it cause he says he's happier with the drama in my life being between the pages of the books instead of in reality. I whole heartedly agree. It's the same reason I watch trashy TV too ;-) Oh Gossip Girl...you kill me.

So I wanted to start keeping a list of all the books I have read throughout the calendar year, and will continue next year. These include good old fashioned reading and audio books. I like to listen while I take trips alone or with Ben and when I run errands for work. You may see a lot of Jodi Picoult on here as I am currently trying to work my way through everything she has published. I DEVOUR her books. Love her.

1) Searching For God Knows What - Donald Miller
2) Twilight - The Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer3) New Moon - The Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
4) Eclipse - The Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
5) Breaking Dawn - The Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
6) Prince Caspian - C.S. Lewis
7) The Magician's Nephew - C.S. Lewis in progress
8) Nineteen Minutes - Jodi Picoult (FASCINATING...could NOT put this one down.)
9) Change of Heart - Jodi Picoult
10) Vanishing Act - Jodi Picoult - in progress

Auditioning TONIGHT for the Nashville Symphony Choir!!

2010-10-04T08:22:00.000-07:00

Haven't sung this in 5 years but I am auditioning with this:

	Messiah - Soprano - 04 For Unto Us A Child Is Born .mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

5 Things I am proud of myself for doing today.

2010-09-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

1) I told my Daddy I loved him.

2) I made plans to visit with my sister.

3) I got to bond more with my roommie...love you Katie!

4) I worked out!

5) I took the time to take a hot bubble bath and read my book.

How is love defined in us? Relationship Studies....

2010-09-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

I found this on my friend Chip Green's FB profile page and I couldn't agree more:

"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person who you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real--but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."

-Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story

It's Hard to Re-learn Old Lessons...

2010-09-26T11:37:00.001-07:00

Church was hard this morning. Two things happened in the last week that I really let get to me and that I reacted to in a way that I am not proud of. I always try to be as Christ like as I possibly can be every day and especially in the way that I react to things that impact me emotionally and situationally in my life. No small feat let me tell you. This week I failed big time. I failed twice.

This morning our preacher, Randy, was talking about a passage in 1 Peter. I turned to follow the passage he was referring to, 1 Peter 2:4-11, but God had other plans for me this morning. He, instead, diverted my attention to 1 Peter 2:13-25:

"But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. ²¹To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
²²"He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth."^[a]
²³When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. ²⁴He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. ²⁵For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

This is how I failed. I retaliated. I felt hurt, angry, insulted, and offended. I felt an injustice had happened to me (in two separate instances in one week), that crimes had been committed against me, and I needed to defend myself, to protect myself, and the offenders needed to pay and learn from their mistakes. God showed me this morning, although He has revealed this to me previously in my past, that this behavior is not what He wants from me. He wants me to turn my cheek, to bear the burden of the offense, and to entrust myself to Him who judges justly. It is not for me to measure what is right and what is wrong, it is Him, He has not called me to do that. It is not for me to defend myself when a crime is done against me, as it is done to me it is done unto Him, and He is the one that will choose what action if any needs to be taken. It is my job to forgive and to consistently and continually live in that forgiveness every moment, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

My Mama's Meatlof = Heaven

2010-09-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

I realize I have been writing a lot about cooking lately. I love it, it is my art, and I am very passionate about it. This comes from a long line of great cooks in my family (forgive my inability for humility). My grandmother was a Home Economics major and an incredible cook (Man I wish that would have been available for me and not entirely politically incorrect!). She still verbally spouts off recipes from memory when I visit her that she would be excited for me to try. My Mom is STELLAR in the kitchen, my Daddy has become very talented especially in the seafood variety, and my sister is an impeccable cook too, not to mention a fantastic restaurant reviewer (see southernpalate.blogspot.com). We are all way to committed to true ingredients and not cutting fat corners, this shows on our hips but also on our lips through the delectable smiles we have after tasting this food!

I have been promising Ben for some time now that I would make him my Mom's meatloaf recipe. He was probably getting tired of all that chicken pot pie I as making, not that he didn't like that too! So last night I took about 2 hours and whipped up the meatloaf. I had almost forgotten how incredible it was to grow up with this food. I share this with you today! You are welcome to make it in your own homes but remember, it's my Mama who deserves the credit!

Mama's Meatloaf or Baby, We Could Talk All Night But That Ain't Getting Us Nowhere

~ Edited slightly by Libby...

1 lb. lean ground beef (small meatloaf) 1.5 for medium, 2 lb. for large one. If you have fatty meat, it will cook down too much & be too greasy as well. The following ingredients are for the small meatloaf, adjust accordingly for medium & large. I usually make the large, split it in two cook both in two small ceramic or Pyrex bread pans & keep the second one for cold meatloaf sandwiches with mayo. . .mmmmm! Or you can freeze it for later.

If your meatloaf mix won't fit into your pan, but there isn't enough for a second one, make meatballs. Fry them or bake them on a cookie sheet until brown or freeze for later. Cover cooked meatballs with Campbell's mushroom soup. . . mmmmm! Add mushrooms, preferably fresh (but sauteed first). This is a good party dish when you have to take a hot hors d'oeuvre. But I digress. . .more meatloaf ingredients.

PREHEAT oven to 350.

1 medium onion

2 C. crushed crackers Ritz is good, I use Club crackers (rectangular buttery ones) generic is fine. An alternative is Quaker oats but NOT instant ones or the meatloaf will be too mushy

1-2 eggs I use one but if it seems dry or isn't sticking together, add another. I never use more than two. Or you can add 1/4 cup of milk.

Mix in these ingredients:

garlic powder to taste

salt & pepper to taste

Tony Chachere's to taste

Optional: oregano, basil, or any herb you like, or not. Parmesan cheese, Velvetta cheese, but not regular cheese, unless you want to melt it on top. It sort of curdles in the meat loaf & makes an unpleasant texture.

Bake in a bread pan in a 350 degree oven. Small about 1 - 1.5 hr. Cover top with two layers of foil. Last 20 min takes the foil off. Last 5-10 minutes add the sauce (see below).

If you make meatballs you can also sink them into this sauce for a hot hors d'oeuvre, instead of using the mushroom soup.

One cup ketchup, at least

At least 2 Tablespoons of regular yellow mustard; I use about a 1/4 cup. This is to taste but you want it to be tangy.

One cup brown sugar, to taste.

This sauce is really sweet as well as tangy. You should really make a double batch, pour half over the meatloaf in the last 10 minutes or so of cooking, then use the rest for dipping as you eat it or for the meatballs if you make them. Serve with a salad & if you dare, or want to splurge, mashed potatoes or baked potatoes or MAC AND CHEESE!.

My Mother's 9/11

2010-09-13T10:11:00.001-07:00

Aftermath
When they fell
We rose up.
They fell on an island,
Now priceless
Once bought with beads.
In a war den,
Five sided,
And on a simple, empty field.

Though I hear their names,
There are too many to remember.
How can it be possible,
That I know not even one
Of so many who fell.

Yet I will never forget their faces,
Shining out from tacked-up photos,
Or the faces of the broken-hearted
Searching, hoping.
Will they ever heal?
And the faces of the children
Innocent, unknowing,
Or knowing too much.
The faces of those offering aid
Any sort of rescue.

These faces said to me:
Deep is the love we have for each other.
No one can kill that.

They fell.
But what happened then is
We rose up.

Carol MacDuffee Hanson
two years later
September 11, 2003

2010-09-08T14:55:00.000-07:00

{one} what was your first pet and how did you come up with its name?My first pet was names Alexander Marshall. For some reason I was obsessed with that name. I called him Alex and I now have a nephew by the same first name! {two} do you like your ice crushed or cubed?CUBED. {three} do you believe in love at first sight?No. I believe in infatuation at first sight. I think love grows and diminishes over time. There are times you will love someone more than you ever have before and then as time passes it can lapse into complacency, later it may come back even stronger. {four} do you have any nicknames?Oh geez...Libby (obviously), Libber, Der Libenater, Libation, Libbigail, Lil boo, Lil bit, Elsie bub, Lizard...the list goes on... {five} what movie do you never get tired of watching?When Harry Met Sally {six} how do you like your eggs cooked?Over medium. Whites hard yellows runny. {seven} are you named after anyone in particular?Yes! It's a family tradition from Aunt to Niece as Elizabeth. I have a great aunt Lizzy, an aunt Libby, and my niece is Elizabeth Claire. {eight} what are three things that you would like to do that you haven’t done yet?Go abroad with Ben, buy a house, have a baby...all somedays.... {nine} what one thing always brightens your mood?Genuine unabashed laughter {ten} what five things will you always find in your purse?Cell, wallet, hairbrush, make up bag, and HOPEFULLY hairties....

Holy Chicken Pot Pie Batman!

2010-09-08T14:41:00.000-07:00

It's been nice getting settled in my new kitchen, well...new to me! I have had such a hankering for getting back to cooking it's not even funny, so last night when I left work I had a huge craving for chicken pot pie. I didn't want to buy one of those frozen Marie Callender's thingys, although they are delish! No, I wanted to create. I have recently realized that cooking is my art form. I use recipes a lot of the time but sometimes I just want to throw something together and be proud of the result. So I thought to myself, "If I were a homemade chicken pot pie what would I be made of...?" Thoughts of buttery crescent rolls, creamy gravy, fresh veggies, and lumps of chicken came to mind....so here is what I came up with on a whim at my little local Trader Joe's....

1 LARGE can of chicken in broth
1/2 bag of frozen veggie medley with carrots, peas, corn etc.
1-2 tubes of crescent roll dough
Butter, milk, and flour for a cream sauce

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Spray the bottom of a ceramic, glass, pie tin with Pam. Even though the crescent roll dough doesn't specify to grease the pan I think it's important to the pie doesn't stick.

Spread the crescent roll dough and make it one solid sheet. Line the bottom of
your dish of choice with the dough leaving extra for the top of the pie.

Put canned chicken in pan without draining the broth. Add garlic powder to taste and let heat up to medium heat.

Defrost the veggies in a collander with warm water.

Make a rue from the milk butter and flour...(Here is a great place to learn how although I don't use the oil in mine...). Add salt and pepper to taste.

Layer chicken, veggies, chicken, veggies, chicken into the baking dish on top of the dough. Pour cream sauce over top. Add extra dough to create a top for the pie. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-35 minutes or until top is flaky and golden! Enjoy!!!

2010-09-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

So I got this idea from my new found friend Leigh Kramer. I'm going to try it out! This is an older Wednesday edition but since I am going on a road trip tonight I found it all too appropriate.

{one} if you could go on a road trip anywhere with one person, dead or alive, who would it be and where would you go?

Ben. Ok I know it's schmultzy and all that but I would rather be stuck in a car with Ben for 10-40 hours on the way to something exciting or relaxing than be almost anywhere. The thought of creating new memories and experiences makes my heart start humming. Love road trips and love him!

{two} if you were stranded on a desert island, which one person would you bring with you?

Tom Hanks. He won that bitch.

{three} what's your earliest memory?

I don't even really know. I slightly remember the look of our house in St. Louis, I would have been around 3. I remember crushing pecans and killing slugs when we lived in Alabama soon after we left St. Louis...

{four} what's the best advice you've ever received?

Before you go to anyone else, go to God in prayer. I can't say I'm good at practicing this all the time but it definitely has always worked to make me look at the situation from His perspective, if that's even possible!

{five} if you could have an endless supply of food, what would you get?

I don't want to choose! I love food so much that I don't want to leave any categories out. Plus, I can't go long without fried pickles but I don't think I'd want an endless supply. If you eat too much of something, you won't want it anymore and that would be sad.

{six} would you rather be a famous musician or a famous actor?

Can I be an actor in musical theater? Is that an option?

{seven} if you could be a star athlete in any sport, which would you choose?

Figure skating. It's incredibly athletic and combines dance and music!

{eight} if you were offered the job of u.s. president, would you take it?

No. Freakin. Way.

{nine} would you rather have the ability to fly or the ability to breathe underwater?

Fly. Although I'm not sure if I'm more terrified of being that high up or being that down low.

{ten} what music are you listening to today?

Pandora Michael Jackson playlist. "C'mon girl! You know I love ya!"

Grace and Mercy

2010-08-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

Grace: "Getting what you don't deserve."

Mercy: "Not getting what you deserve."

This Me Me Nostalgic

2010-06-24T13:14:00.000-07:00

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy/girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

Family Matters

2010-06-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

My good friend Rosie told me once that as I grew older I would start to have less friends but more meaningful relationships. I looked at her like she was a nut bag. (To be fair she is a nut bag but I really like nuts). I have always been a social butterfly, put me in a public place of 50 people and I probably know 30 of them, some better than others of course. But I have to admit as time has gone by Rosie's prediction has been proven to be true. Although I am a big believer in make new friends but keep the old, a person only has so much time in their day, their life for that matter, and I have realized, by the not so subtle encouragement by my boyfriend, that I am also supposed to make time for myself, something I am very very bad at doing.

As I realize that I have made a home in the community here in Nashville, my friendships are becoming more meaningful. For the first time in my life I shy away, to some extent, to making new friends, and I find myself to be more selective. A new friendship feels a bit exhausting now and unless I have some major commonalities or characteristics I can relate to with the new individual I think I am starting to want to stick with what I've got. I feel the need to protect my time like never before. I want to reserve it for those I want to be with the most. I think in terms of quality instead of quantity like never before. Especially within my romantic relationship.

Family, I am realizing more now than ever, is where I want to be so much of the time. With the arrival of my niece, Elizabeth Claire, so much of the world looks sunnier and bright. I want to be there for her. I want to see her smiles, giggles, and even tears. She is the best dancer I know. When I look at her I don't just look, I gaze. I knew she was going to be something special to me but the magnitude of my feelings for her were completely unexpected. She has also done so much for our family in bringing it closer. We all have something in common to celebrate and it is her. God has shown me his love so much more through her arrival than just about any event in my life. I am forever grateful.

I learn a lot more from my family now than I did before. My Aunt Melody is an incredible inspiration. If you want to know how just read THIS. Vote for her if you feel inspired. You will be making the lives of many many people better in doing so, as she has. Many other people in my family inspire me everyday and if I wrote about all of them it would be a book. All I can say is I will never understand why God chose to bless me in this way, to put me amongst such special people, but I am so unbelievably grateful that he did.

Life is a series of scenes, colors that whisk by so fast the past seems blurry. I wish I could hold on sometimes just to take a look around. I try to do that, breath deep, breath it all in, hold onto the memory like it was tangible. Experiences are the name of the game my friend. Who knew one of my favorites would be at a one year old's birthday party. God blesses you when you least expect it.

Tennessee - Mindy Smith says it better than I could have...

2010-06-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

Tennessee:

Tennessee, you've been good to me
Yes, I've come to believe you're where I wanna be
You may not be what everybody needs
but Tennessee, you're good enough for me

I can see stars shining in your night
Your daytime seems like Cash and Patsy Cline
They may not be what everybody needs
But they touch my soul
That's good enough for me

It's been ten years now, and I'm rooted in your soil
I am rooted in your soil
Give me ten more years, I'll be rooted in your soil
Right here in your soil

You may not be what I will always need
But I call you home
If I can call you home
Then you're good enough for me

Sometimes Thankfulness is the Purpose of the Day...

2010-06-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

...Or isn't it always? I was thinking about life to today and how I am so grateful to be where I am. It's not that my life doesn't have it's own set of challenges (would it be worth living if it didn't?) but after another amazing weekend with my closest friends, a memorable memorial day with my loving boyfriend, an unforgettable wedding, massive amount of dancing, a good random shift at Maf's, and a new (and great deal!) TV things are looking bright and sunny! Thank you Jesus! I love life, love Nashville, love summer! Today thankfulness is the name of my game.

We are starting to plan I'm Still Beautiful again and there are a lot of other fun events and trips on the horizon. How did I ever get to be so blessed?

PLEASE PLEASE vote for my friend Gracie!!

2010-05-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

My friend Grace Clayton is auditioning for Oprah's next talk show host contest. Please watch her hilarious video (the end is my favorite) and vote for her! CLICK HERE! She is at about 2,000 votes but the leader is at like 400,000! Woah! Can you help? Vote a lot!

Lots of love,
Libby

Good Friday - Stations of the Cross

2010-04-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

I, being raised as a Catholic (operative word here is raised), was asked by my Father last night to try to go through The Stations of the Cross today on this Good Friday. Since I do believe in the Ten Commandments I decided to "honor thy father" by doing just that, here on The Libspot. I do think it is important to always be mindful of what Jesus did for me, for anyone willing to accept him, and I am forever grateful.

The Stations themselves are usually a series of 14 pictures or sculptures depicting the following scenes (Wikipedia):

Jesus is condemned to death
Jesus is given his cross
Jesus falls the first time
Jesus meets His Mother
Simon of Cyrene carries the cross
Veronica wipes the face of Jesus
Jesus falls the second time
Jesus meets the daughters of Jerusalem
Jesus falls the third time
Jesus is stripped of His garments
Crucifixion: Jesus is nailed to the cross
Jesus dies on the cross
Jesus' body is removed from the cross (Deposition or Lamentation)
Jesus is laid in the tomb and covered in incense.

Although not traditionally part of the Stations, the Resurrection of Jesus is sometimes included as a fifteenth station.

I realize this is the doom and gloom of the Gospel, Catholics tend to focus on this portion of Jesus's life. I like to celebrate the lessons Jesus instilled more than anything. The life he lived was extraordinary and the price he paid for my freedom from sin is astonishing. On this Good Friday I say THANK YOU.

I'm in a Southern State of Mind

2010-02-20T19:00:00.000-08:00

"Growing up Southern is a privilege. It's more than where you're born, it's an idea, a state of mind that seems imparted at birth. It's more than loving fried chicken, sweet tea, baseball, bibles, and country music. It's being devoted to screen porches, magnolias, coca-cola, and each other. We don't become Southern, we're born that way."

A lot of you give me a hard time about where exactly I am from. I always feel a lot of pressure to claim a territory, explain my upbringing, etc. The problem is that often nobody really understands and so, today, I want to set the record straight. I read this quote today, no idea who wrote it, but it inspired me. I think it really represents how I truly feel in my heart. My gratitude to have the privilege of living in the South again is palpable. I get down on my knees and thank the Lord for it.

I was born in the heart of the midwest, St. Louis at Barnes Jewish Hospital. Not a very Southern start to say the least. My first three years were surrounded by Midwesterners, aside from my parents. After that I was moved to the South, deep South, just outside of Mobile, Alabama for another 3 year stay.

Truth be told I moved north at the young age of six and primarily lived there until 22. IL became my home but I never really felt happy there. Being a part of a very Southern family made living in the midwest, and the north in general, feel very unnatural to me and I always harbored a feeling of displacement. I have southern in my blood as the majority of my family is from Lafayette, Louisiana, Mississippi, and throughout Alabama.

I spent every summer, from 8 years old to 14, soaking up the culture of the Gulf Coast. My Daddy, being a born and raised Louisiana man, brought me up on crawfish, chicory, beignets, and as many types of fried seafood fare we could get our hands on. Needless to say oyster po-boys and boudin are staples of our diets. I ran around barefoot many a summer with my toes in the Gulf Coast sand, sneaux ball in hand, and peach juice running down my chin from the local farmers market. Skinny dipping was not out of the ordinary, as most people would understand if they felt the sweltering heat of the Gulf summers.

My summers were split between all the towns along the coast. Daddy lived in Jackson for 6 years and we would drive south and head across between Mobile and New Orleans. Road tripping, stopping at little dives along the way. I'm sure people would look at Dad funny when he would bring us into a local bar to meet one of his old buddies (I being only 10 years of age as the time or so) but all I remember was learning about the kindness of good down home people and how fabulous Shirley Temples tasted when the maraschino cherries were stacked from the bottom of the glass to the brim.

When I hear a song about the Delta my heart yearns for Spanish moss and the hazy heat of a late Gulf Coast Summer. I get home sick for a lot of places, Chicago, Vienna, Mississippi, etc. But I have a Louisiana soul, and I know this because only other Louisianians understand, and no one else can understand why that makes me proud.

Sometimes you just want to blog!

2010-02-05T09:06:00.001-08:00

The weather here in Nashville is depressing. It's wet and gloomy. I miss sunshine, flowers, dresses...ugh, maybe I just need a vacation. The weight loss journey is going well (7 lbs down and hopefully 9 by Monday) but I have to consistently stop myself from going on a crazy ass binge at McDonald's.

What a weekend we have planned. Ben and I have the impressive talent of filling up every last second of every weekend. This is the downfall of obsessive planners, something I am proud to say that we are, albeit a blassing and a curse.

This is a special weekend though because it's Ben's 25th birthday (he's a baby!). I can't even begin to tell you how nice it is to finally have a guy that loves to celebrate his birthday. I love birthdays, probably my favorite thing ever. It's a perfect opporunity to make someone feel special and show them how much you love them. Tonight we are going to dinner at City house with Umphrey's McGee's percussion (gotta love Pearl), heading to their show at the War Memorial, then headed to Hard Rock for Ben's gig, come out if you can. Needless to say I can't wait to get off work.

We will be celebrating tomorrow with black light bowling and birthday cake at the adult Chucky Cheese. Tons of fun! Of course Sunday (the actual b-day) is THE SUPERBOWL!! SAINTS vs. colts. I'll let you guess who it is dat I want to win...(Geaux football!) Bring on the Superbowl parties.

I love my life, I love those around me God has blessed me with, I love the opportunity to recognize it and serve.

Please Pray for my Friend's Little Girl!

2010-01-20T14:43:00.000-08:00

Update 1-20

Today at 11:31am

I told you before about Rowan's posturing, fever, etc? The Dr's think it might be something called thalamic storms. Which is apparently a misnomer because its not coming from the thalamus, but instead at the top of the spinal chord. Well, at least thats what I think they're telling me, and seeing as how I never took Anatomy, I'm having difficulty picturing whatever a thalamus is. It is the Brain Surgeons who are talking, and well, we all know what uber smart geek talk is like. Her EEG was pretty much a waste of time. It didn't show any seizures. Which would be awesome if that meant she wasn't having any. But because of the sedative she was on, a sedative which stops seizures, the EEG needs to be repeated. They are wanting to place a shunt in tomorrow. A shunt is basically a permanent drain running from her ventricles down to her stomach. The Dr who would be placing it does about 400 a year, so he knows what he's about. And it won't really negatively affect her life, tons of kids have them; its safe, its easy, and it will get those nasty drains out of her head and let her move around a bit (assuming, that is, that she'll start moving around).

We were told yesterday that it is pretty likely that as soon as Rowan is released from the hospital, she'll be going to a rehabilitation center. Not going home for a while.

If anyone wants to help, pray for our daughter. Put her on any prayer list you can think of.

~ Erik and Regan Wilkinson

Is technology hurting our connections or helping?

2010-01-18T13:05:00.000-08:00

My friend Chris Boeskool is a super smart dude. "I like technology, I just don't like when it becomes (or appears to become) more important than real relationships or gets in the way of real relationships (i.e. A table of 6 people at a restaurant and 4 of them have their faces in their iPhones; a husband and a wife sitting on a couch all night stalking people's facebook pages and chatting with 3 different people each; or, people sitting in church feeling compelled to look at everyone's facebook)."

Love over time is a fickle fickle thing

2010-01-12T12:29:00.000-08:00

I'm about to quote someone I've barely met but his words were so true I couldn't help myself. This comes from my friend Ken's friend Lee.

"The idea is that once you get to know someone you start to realize that they have flaws, they aren't what they appeared and they have their bad moments. That's why a husband and wife can be completely in love with each other when they first get married and fighting like Smurfs and Gargamel on their 10th anniversary. The mystique is gone and it seems like there's not much left to explore....

So in love, I guess it's only really love when you know all the flaws of another person and have gone through that process of being so familiar with them that you aren't feeling the excitement of exploration or the desire to uncover their mystery. (Love is) What you are feeling is in spite of all that." ~Lee

I laugh now when people expect love and relationships to be easy. The naivety they exercise even in believing that something that easy would actually be fulfilling. The best, most loving, most passionate relationships are often very hard, suffer tragedy, and argue with intensity. But I don't think I would have it any other way. I would like to think that my relationship would be worth the effort of the argument, worth the pain of the tragedy, and worth the joy of the love.

Message

2009-12-31T12:11:00.001-08:00

I got this message today (Maybe I should start singing again after all): On this day of your life, Libby, we believe God wants you to know ... that the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang the best. Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right'. Start where you are, work with whatever is at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.

Messiah

2009-12-23T07:26:00.000-08:00

I had the most incredible experience Saturday night. Ben took me to see The Messiah by Handel, my favorite work of all time. I have studied it intensely, preformed it four times in college and the history I have with it makes it all the more meaningful to me. The story is the story of old, about what Jesus did for all humanity and, in turn, what He did for me personally. The Nashville Symphony Hall was superb, the night was filled with an electrical magic, and I couldn't be more grateful. Thank you.

Here is a link to my Alma Mater, Augustana College. Here my old choir director and pastor give you a little glimpse of how I feel about the Messiah. (my favorite part is that on the second performance ever the crowds were asked to not bring swords or wear hoop skirts because the place was so packed it needed more space!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

New Music Weekend – Ruth Collins

2009-12-06T11:45:00.000-08:00

Ruth Collins was born in Western NY and was raised on a 13 acre grape farm that has been in her family for over 200 years. She is the youngest of four girls who were all raised as musicians but she was the only one of her four siblings who really loved and fell in love with her music. She sings, plays piano and learned the violin beginning at the tender age of three! She was a true child prodigy who later added the guitar to her repertoire.

She left home at the age of 18 and moved to Boston where she attended Berklee College of Music for 3 1/2 years before moving to Nashville in 2006 to become a songwriter.

You may recognize Ruth from televisions “Can You Duet” where she and a friend, Victoria Gibson, sang as a duo named “Wild Honey” where they made it to 6th place on the show. After leaving “Wild Honey” Ruth has been focusing on her solo career of writing and singing. She has had the good fortune to work with some amazing talent including songwriters who have written for Taylor Swift, George Strait, Rascal Flatts and Big and Rich. A plethora of talent to draw from for a talented young lady new to Nashville!

She has an amazing voice with a wonderful range and clarity to it that is easy to listen to and begs to be heard. Her song “Disappear” is a ballad of truth about many relationships and speaks of a hopefully easier way to breakup when “someone stays too long” and says they didn’t “build this bridge to burn it down”. The lyrics are so close to anyone’s heart about two people who just need to not be together anymore and is sung w/the accompaniment of her guitar. I really loved the song – tender and the lilting notes of her voice are so touching.

“Lesson Learned” is a soft swaying melody about falling in love the first time and the lessons we learn during life in romance – “We live and we learn and we crash and we burn.” She has a wonderful handle on new ways to express what we have all lived through and felt about life and her voice has just a slight raspy edge that gives the listener a picture of a combination of an innocent but slightly seasoned young lady singing about life. It’s an interesting combination and very pleasant listening.

“Chasing the Rain” is another ballad with piano accompaniment that showcases her amazing voice as she sings about being a fool that goes “chasing the rain calling out your name” and “praying for the wind to knock them down again”. It’s a song that parallels a love gone wrong with rainstorms and the fool she is that still wants to chase it anyway. Something many of us have done, huh? But she has the words to put it to music and actually make it sound interesting!

She is an amazing talent that should you certainly should be hearing a lot more from soon! To listen to her music please visit her at www.myspace.com/ruthcollins and you can follow her on Twitter and Facebook as well. A delightful young lady who also gives of her valuable time to charity – she is definitely worth your time!

Calamity Annie CMTT Music Contributor

Movin' On

2009-12-03T09:38:00.000-08:00

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

Here or there?

2009-11-21T09:59:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today about how so many people use Jesus' life as a path to heaven. Although I'm not negating that that is one aspect of what Jesus' life was supposed to serve as, I often think we are missing the point. What is our conception of heaven? Traditionally we think of it as the afterlife. A place we go when we die after, hopefully, living a good life. Catholics look at it in terms of rules, that if you don't follow them and confess when you fail, you will lose your salvation. Again completely based on our own personal gain/lives. I think we are missing a bigger picture here. I have been asked before whether or not I think I am going to go to heaven more than the next person because of my belief. I answered honestly, "I don't know." How poor and pathetic would my faith in God be if I though I had all these answers. The purpose of my faith is that I don't have to have all the answers HE does. And I am much to miniscule an entity to think that I would know whom God would poor his amazing grace over. If I am measured by that unforgiving of a scale then I am screwed.

But back to Jesus' life. I asked my sister once, "What if you're wrong" in reference to the choices she has made in life to live according to the Gospel to the best of her ability. She shrugged her shoulders and said,"Then I have been able to live a beautiful life and that alone would be a great reward." I agree. I see people everyday who refuse to acknowledge God's presence in their lives, the work Jesus did, and what that can do to enrich our lives here and now today. If I use Jesus as a model, a mentor, etc. then my life only serves to enrich the lives of others which, amazingly, in turn enriches my own. This brings about a state of incredible happiness, peace, and my heart is filled with love. The closest to Heaven on earth I can get.

When I turn from this way of life I confront misery head on. A living Hell on earth if you will. Jesus shouldn't be used as a tool to gain/earn salvation so that "we" are OK. That is such a self centered goal. Jesus' life should be viewed as a way to make the world a better place than before we were here. If someone said what's the point, especially if there is no heaven/after life. To that I would say that the people you leave behind see a lot of point to it. I have to keep pounding it into my head that it's NOT ABOUT ME. Everything He has done is for His glory, my glory isn't important, it's not how I was designed, and I know what because every time I try to do something for my glory I come up unfulfilled, but when my purpose is in Him, it is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

Take Martin Luther King for example. Look at the work He did, look how he used Christ as a compass, look at the good he left behind for us, for our progress and peace. Now if you said that there is no after life would we all have to sit here and agree then that there was no point to MLK's life? I would beg just the opposite, that the whole point to his life was what he was able to accomplish here. Now, I personally believe in an afterlife, but I truly have no idea of what to expect from it, the only clue that God has given me at all is the overwhelming joy I feel in my heart when I am filled with Him. I pray that this is the kind of feeling, only magnified, I would have were I able to go to Heaven. But I don't look at Heaven as a place to earn, or as a "reason" to do the things I do to serve the Lord. I do them because I know they are right, and good, and true, and the blessed gift He gives me back is a contentment in my life here, as close to Heaven on earth as I can get.

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?

2009-11-19T12:09:00.000-08:00

This radical Christian's ministry for the poor, The Simple Way, has gotten him in some trouble with his fellow Evangelicals. We asked him to address those who don't believe.

By Shane Claiborne (As posted in Esquire...I've highlighted the parts that struck me the most)

To all my nonbelieving, sort-of-believing, and used-to-be-believing friends: I feel like I should begin with a confession. I am sorry that so often the biggest obstacle to God has been Christians. Christians who have had so much to say with our mouths and so little to show with our lives. I am sorry that so often we have forgotten the Christ of our Christianity.

Forgive us. Forgive us for the embarrassing things we have done in the name of God.

The other night I headed into downtown Philly for a stroll with some friends from out of town. We walked down to Penn's Landing along the river, where there are street performers, artists, musicians. We passed a great magician who did some pretty sweet tricks like pour change out of his iPhone, and then there was a preacher. He wasn't quite as captivating as the magician. He stood on a box, yelling into a microphone, and beside him was a coffin with a fake dead body inside. He talked about how we are all going to die and go to hell if we don't know Jesus.

Some folks snickered. Some told him to shut the hell up. A couple of teenagers tried to steal the dead body in the coffin. All I could do was think to myself, I want to jump up on a box beside him and yell at the top of my lungs, "God is not a monster." Maybe next time I will.

The more I have read the Bible and studied the life of Jesus, the more I have become convinced that Christianity spreads best not through force but through fascination. But over the past few decades our Christianity, at least here in the United States, has become less and less fascinating. We have given the atheists less and less to disbelieve. And the sort of Christianity many of us have seen on TV and heard on the radio looks less and less like Jesus.

At one point Gandhi was asked if he was a Christian, and he said, essentially, "I sure love Jesus, but the Christians seem so unlike their Christ." A recent study showed that the top three perceptions of Christians in the U. S. among young non-Christians are that Christians are 1) antigay, 2) judgmental, and 3) hypocritical. So what we have here is a bit of an image crisis, and much of that reputation is well deserved. That's the ugly stuff. And that's why I begin by saying that I'm sorry.

Now for the good news.

I want to invite you to consider that maybe the televangelists and street preachers are wrong — and that God really is love. Maybe the fruits of the Spirit really are beautiful things like peace, patience, kindness, joy, love, goodness, and not the ugly things that have come to characterize religion, or politics, for that matter. (If there is anything I have learned from liberals and conservatives, it's that you can have great answers and still be mean... and that just as important as being right is being nice.)

The Bible that I read says that God did not send Jesus to condemn the world but to save it... it was because "God so loved the world." That is the God I know, and I long for others to know. I did not choose to devote my life to Jesus because I was scared to death of hell or because I wanted crowns in heaven... but because he is good. For those of you who are on a sincere spiritual journey, I hope that you do not reject Christ because of Christians. We have always been a messed-up bunch, and somehow God has survived the embarrassing things we do in His name. At the core of our "Gospel" is the message that Jesus came "not [for] the healthy... but the sick." And if you choose Jesus, may it not be simply because of a fear of hell or hope for mansions in heaven.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe in the afterlife, but too often all the church has done is promise the world that there is life after death and use it as a ticket to ignore the hells around us. I am convinced that the Christian Gospel has as much to do with this life as the next, and that the message of that Gospel is not just about going up when we die but about bringing God's Kingdom down. It was Jesus who taught us to pray that God's will be done "on earth as it is in heaven." On earth.

One of Jesus' most scandalous stories is the story of the Good Samaritan. As sentimental as we may have made it, the original story was about a man who gets beat up and left on the side of the road. A priest passes by. A Levite, the quintessential religious guy, also passes by on the other side (perhaps late for a meeting at church). And then comes the Samaritan... you can almost imagine a snicker in the Jewish crowd. Jews did not talk to Samaritans, or even walk through Samaria. But the Samaritan stops and takes care of the guy in the ditch and is lifted up as the hero of the story. I'm sure some of the listeners were ticked. According to the religious elite, Samaritans did not keep the right rules, and they did not have sound doctrine... but Jesus shows that true faith has to work itself out in a way that is Good News to the most bruised and broken person lying in the ditch.

It is so simple, but the pious forget this lesson constantly. God may indeed be evident in a priest, but God is just as likely to be at work through a Samaritan or a prostitute. In fact the Scripture is brimful of God using folks like a lying prostitute named Rahab, an adulterous king named David... at one point God even speaks to a guy named Balaam through his donkey. Some say God spoke to Balaam through his ass and has been speaking through asses ever since. So if God should choose to use us, then we should be grateful but not think too highly of ourselves. And if upon meeting someone we think God could never use, we should think again.

After all, Jesus says to the religious elite who looked down on everybody else: "The tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the Kingdom ahead of you." And we wonder what got him killed?

I have a friend in the UK who talks about "dirty theology" — that we have a God who is always using dirt to bring life and healing and redemption, a God who shows up in the most unlikely and scandalous ways. After all, the whole story begins with God reaching down from heaven, picking up some dirt, and breathing life into it. At one point, Jesus takes some mud, spits in it, and wipes it on a blind man's eyes to heal him. (The priests and producers of anointing oil were not happy that day.)

In fact, the entire story of Jesus is about a God who did not just want to stay "out there" but who moves into the neighborhood, a neighborhood where folks said, "Nothing good could come." It is this Jesus who was accused of being a glutton and drunkard and rabble-rouser for hanging out with all of society's rejects, and who died on the imperial cross of Rome reserved for bandits and failed messiahs. This is why the triumph over the cross was a triumph over everything ugly we do to ourselves and to others. It is the final promise that love wins.

It is this Jesus who was born in a stank manger in the middle of a genocide. That is the God that we are just as likely to find in the streets as in the sanctuary, who can redeem revolutionaries and tax collectors, the oppressed and the oppressors... a God who is saving some of us from the ghettos of poverty, and some of us from the ghettos of wealth.

In closing, to those who have closed the door on religion — I was recently asked by a non-Christian friend if I thought he was going to hell. I said, "I hope not. It will be hard to enjoy heaven without you." If those of us who believe in God do not believe God's grace is big enough to save the whole world... well, we should at least pray that it is.

Your brother,

Shane

Live By List

2009-11-17T10:21:00.000-08:00

John John gave this to me a while back. I've now laminated it and look at it at my desk everyday.

Live By List

The Greatest Problem to Overcome: FEAR

The Most Beautiful Attire: A SMILE

The Most Crippling Disease: EXCUSES

The Most Dangerous Pariah: GOSSIP!

The Two Most Powerful Words: I CAN

The Most Worthless Emotion: SELF PITY

The Greatest Shot in the Arm: ENCOURAGEMENT

The Most Effective Sleeping Pill: PEACE OF MIND

The Most Prized Possession: INTEGRITY

The Most Satisfying Hard Work: HELPING OTHERS

The Greatest Attitude: GRATITUDE

The Most Powerful Force in Life: FAITH and LOVE

Be careful.

2009-11-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

It's not my place to judge, it's my place to love. "Your closeness to God can be measured by your lack of judgments. Everything that's in your mind is a belief. The function of the mind is to produce beliefs about what you see, hear, feel. And that's useful. But you keep forgetting that what you think is only a belief. Every time you take any of your thoughts (or someone else's thoughts) as THE truth, you judge And with every judgment you grow farther and farther from God. Stop. Start coming closer to God through acceptance of other, different from yours, perspectives on life."

My AMAZING friend and her speech class. An Inspiration and a Blessing

2009-10-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

The Perils of a Speech Class

Current mood: hopeful

Let's preface this post with the fact that I absolutely adore teaching communications to my Sophomores. Classes of 25 aren't OPTIMAL this semester, but they're reality, and I'm dealing with it. But that's not the point of this post. The point is that sometimes teaching that class puts me in physical pain. But let's start from the beginning...

In my mind, communications class should be about the obvious things... writing a good outline, learning how to overcome public speaking fears, adopting positive speaking characteristics, blah blah blah. BUT, there's also this element that I think is equally (if not MORE) important, that is rarely properly addressed in any other class. That element is the whole idea BEHIND communication... connecting with people, knowing yourself, and learning how to relate with others on a less superficial and more PERSONAL basis (which is something kids... or adults for that matter... do less and less these days). In short, I like to run my class with the idea that I'm creating better people, a more community-based school, and whole young people that may use their brains to think outside of their comfort zones and truly LISTEN and EMPATHIZE with other people. There is no laughing in my class (at things that aren't intended to be funny). Anyone that even seems slightly disrespectful to one of their fellow students will face swift and severe punishment (more so than if they actually got up from their seat, verbally assaulted ME, and walked out of the room muttering obscenities and flipping off the general public). I create an environment... ENFORCE an environment at first, that allows students to open up, share, and become better people. Unwaveringly, students recognize the power and liberation that comes with this, and I never have to correct any behaviors after the first speech. They listen to each other because they care. They listen because they want to hear what others have to say, and they listen because they know that when they talk they will be heard. Not just heard, but LISTENED TO.

So that's my classroom. But the perils of this environment started by the third formal speech of my first semester in the district. Students start talking about REAL things. They stop trying to write speeches to be stupid and class-clownish. They share actual life-changing moments and real heroes that inspire them and actual stories that they've likely never shared with another soul in the room. The second semester, this metamorphosis happened sooner. My second year, several people shared tear-filled, heart-felt speeches on the very first INTRODUCTORY speech. This year I think it's gotten around that this class is like free therapy, and the kids are immediately pouring themselves into every interaction in my room. WHICH IS GREAT. But with all this emotion, every unburdening, that weight gets shifted. Unfortunately, I feel so much of it landing on me. Today I held back tears as a student shared a story about how losing his brother in a car accident (my first year in the district... my first week, actually) changed his life. It was his first speech. Through the throat-clearing and blinking, that child maintained eye contact with the room and nearly got through his entire outline before melting onto the podium. He'd told his brother that he hated him before he left the house and was in that fatal accident... he thinks it's his fault. The class quietly cried for him, with him, and a murmur of "it's not your fault" and several shaking heads tried to console him that it is NOT, in fact his fault. It was obvious that he'd never said aloud that he thought it was his fault. But in the moment immediately following that statement, I could feel the weight start to lift off of his shoulders. To say it. Out loud. To have people who would put you back together after you let yourself burst apart... it was like an instant relief for him. And everyone in that room is stronger for that interaction. They were PEOPLE today. When he returned to his seat, weathered, but composed, the student behind him (who lost her brother last year in another auto accident) touched him on his back and he instantly disintegrated into tears. Everyone sat quiet in the realization that life is not high school. Life is not who you're going to homecoming with, and life is not all the petty crap we make it. HE is life. Her EMPATHETIC TOUCH is life. And we're all connected.

I don't know how many speeches will be that raw, but judging from the outlines I saw, I'd say at least a quarter of my (first set of) speeches will be similarly heart-wrenching and deep. In previous semesters, I've heard about bitter divorces and custody battles, parent abandonment, deaths, accidents, expulsions... and even more, horrible, painful events. And every time the class reaction and student reaction is the same. It's this intense community-growing, bonding, weight-lifting experience. And I know I gave them the outlet, safety, and support to do that. But with every story, every horrifically painful view of watching a student PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH THIS to move on, it's like another tiny weight settles on my soul. It kills me how much these kids have hurt in their lives. No one should have to cry through a speech about how their parents didn't want them any more. But they do. And it's criminal that so much has happened in their short little lives that they need to work through it all with 24 other people that they are likely not friends with... and even worse, that they've never had the true connections with people and friends BEFORE this to help them on their way to healing.

I'd never change the way I run my class. But sometimes I wonder how much hurt I can take from other people before my heart will explode. So far, my level of hurt is infinite, as long as it's balanced with the idea that by taking on the hardship will in some way better the person I'm shifting the burden from. From a short-term prospective, the students adore my class. In their reviews, they talk about how much they grow and learn about themselves. At least 90% of them write that they would have never talked to the people in their class before the class, but now they talk to them often. They might not hang out, but they share a sense of something, and I'm egotistical enough to say that it's a direct effect of purging their souls together for 18 weeks in my class. I obviously don't require they share this way. In fact, I don't even suggest it. They just know they can and choose to do it. In the long term, I'd like to see what kind of PEOPLE these are turning out to be. If they're closer with their loved ones. If they're less afraid of things that aren't exactly what they are. If they have empathy for other people (which, horrifically, is a hard thing to find in the walls of high schools). Those things I'll probably never know. But I have hope. :) Hope and a heartache for tonight, but hope nonetheless.

Faith

2009-09-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

I wrote this back when I had just become a Christian, a baby Christian if you will. At this point though I really felt my vision was clearer than it is now sometimes. I still love going back and looking at these writings.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Faith

I often think that those that struggle with a strong relationship with the Lord and Jesus do so because of the element of control. Many cannot give up control to another, they want to hold onto it, not relinquish it, so that they hold the power and make the decisions. A large (and perhaps the largest) component of being a Christian is giving up control of your life and what happens to and in the lives around you to God., believing that He has a plan and that we can never understand it. It is difficult. As children we always wanted to know "why?", gaining our bearing on the world around us, and as children of God we grapple with the same thing. We want to be in the know. But this is the essence of faith itself, believing in the unknown, trusting in a power outside of ourselves. It is scary, it is hard, it is challenging, but if you truly believe it, it just feels right, you know it is truth. But to most in our society this is crazy talk. It is illogical. It also goes completely against all of our societal norms of Secularism, Humanism, Materialism, etc. Live for today! You're worth it! Carpe Diem! Most hardly ever if not NEVER look into an eternal implication of these lifestyles. We believe in a heaven when it is convenient. We only consider Hell when we want to condemn another to it. We weigh one sin to be much worse than another when God views all sin as sin equally. We are also always so quick to judge, and the audacity of people in this world thinking they have the right to choose/decide/comment on the eternal fate of another astounds me. That they think they know what God would choose. Most that do this are completely ignorant of God's grace. One cannot understand true forgiveness and grace without being able to forgive all others who have trespassed against us ourselves. This is what brings us true inner peace.

Faced with the nationwide tragedy at Virginia Tech it is especially difficult to trust that there is a plan for this world in place. It feels like such a senseless tragedy and what God would wish such pain on the world? In times like these though I am often stunned by the outpouring of love and support us members of the human race can offer one another. Perhaps God uses a tragedy like this to reinforce such points like life is precious, love your neighbor, do unto others what you would want done to you. If we ALL lived by these standards such senseless tragedies would never occur and the Devil would not be allowed to work his evil in our hearts, harden our souls, and take 32 innocent lives along with us. I pray that the entire world will come to understand God's grace and the amazing saving forgiveness that comes with it, before it is too late.

White Bridge Road Target Mugging TODAY

2009-09-03T10:18:00.001-07:00

This is from a good friend of my boss. See below.

Everyone,

Lucile, my sister, got mugged today in the Target parking lot on White Bridge Rd. She is thankfully ok. It happened at 11:36 am. A car pulled up quickly as she was opening the door of her car. I got to see the surveillance video and I’ve attached a picture of what the car looked like (the color might have been a darker brown/gold). There were two men and two women in vehicle, all in their mid to late twenties, all black. The guy who jumped out and jumped Lucile was tall and had corn rows. Lucile kicked and screamed and laid on the horn as the guy was wrestling to get her purse. The SOB smiled at her as he got back in the car. They used her credit card at the new Harris Teeter at 11:50. Two women shoplifters were chased out of Green Hills mall into a car of the same description, driven by two men, at around 12:10 pm. The car had a temporary tag on the rear driver’s side window…of course.

As brazen as these folks are, I assume they will be caught. However, it is important to be aware of during the next couple of days. Feel free to forward on to friends and family in the area.

Johnny Rich

Happy International Justice Day!

2009-07-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

International Justice Day is a day of awareness. It is an opportunity for us to take stock in what we have, thank God for our blessings, and SHARE them with others that are not lucky like you and I are. It is a time for others to stand up for those less fortunate. Please join me in respecting this day. View this amazing video at www.mochaclub.org.

"A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her" - C.S. Lewis

2009-07-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

C.S. Lewis is brilliant. Previously to recently diving into Screwtape Letters I had only read the first in the series of Narnia books. I need to finish the rest soon. Screwtape is very different though. Each chapter speaks this truth to me and explains things in such a way that I am left wrapping my brain around revelations previously hidden from me. I'm about 2/3rds through and am ready to finish the book. The strange thing is you find yourself rooting for "the patient" of course since he is a representation of us, but also rooting for Wormwood. He is pathetic at how much he sucks at his job of converting "the patient" into a non-beleiving lump only suitible for food to the demons. How C.S. Lewis chooses to describe the world is amazing. It never ceases to give me a new perspective.

The longing of younger days

2009-07-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

Ruth and I were reminiscing about our youth tonight. I think you know you are getting older then you start to be very nostalgic about the past. When the years of younger days start to take on that hazy glow of the hopes you had once in visions of the future. We talked about loves lost and tried to make plans for days to come, that we might be able to run off and enjoy experiences as close to the ones we have lived through now that we are older and want to pretend that we are not wiser. Remember when the look of a cute boy across the room you didn't know allowed you the freedom to uninhibitedly dream? That you had yet to be pained, poisoned, tainted, let down, broken....that this boy's stare at your sweet innocent and self confident body was nothing more than a source of excitement, hope, and fluttering in your young heart. Oh how I long for those days again. For the memories of the beach, of the windows down, in his old Chevy, of the snowcones, and first flirtations. Of the innocence, will I ever feel that free gain!

"Epic"

2009-06-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

"Epic", my latest John Eldredge quick read, was a nice visit back to Eldredge land. I always share his vision, especially here, that the stories we are most drawn to are because of the desires and the grand plan God has laid out for us. The reason we love the the story is because the formula is our own.

Act 1: Eternal Love
Act 2: The Entrance of Evil
Act 3: The Battle of the Heart
Act 4: The Kingdom Restored
Act 5: The Road Before Us

There are a few sections of this book I would like to discuss. The parts that stood out to me the most. I may only get to my first point today though, so check back for more in the near future.

One of the points he made was this:

"It came as a great surprise to me as a counselor when I first discovered that children would much rather know that their parents loved each other than that they loved them. But, of course, we need to know that love is real, that it endures, that a world of love is planned for us and waits for us, and that we can count on it."

This struck quite a cord with me. I wholeheartedly agree and I think this is one of the major reasons our society is so plagued by divorce. That many children, like myself, of divorced families find it hard to believe in lasting life-long love and commitment. We have a view that it will all end at some point because, in our experience, it always has.

Although many people have faith in marriage because their parents were able to give them that incredible example, a large majority of us have lost that, have even lost placing value on such a thing. The only reason I have faith in marriage is because I have faith in God. This is why I believe a faithless marriage is destined to fail, or at the very least is not going to be as beautiful a picture as God intended. For me that faith is rooted in God and, although I think this is the best course, others find seeming success in rooting the faith of their relationship lasting in love, in goodness, in trust, in truth. These marriages may last the test of time, but to me God encompasses all these things, making Him the focus of not only my future (hopefully) marriage, but of my life.

Spooning

2009-06-15T23:32:00.000-07:00

What's your take on spooning? Are you the type that likes to sleep all tangled up, touching, holding, being held...Or are you the type that has to be separate in order to get some shut-eye? The past has brought me all types but I must admit I am a tangled up fan. There is something about the security of it, the closeness. It makes me feel safe and protected. Call me a crazy traditional girl but that's just what I prefer. It's not a deal breaker though, just a preference. So, what's your take?

Ellie's Run - OMG I'm running a 5k!!

2009-06-11T08:29:00.001-07:00

Get this, I, Libby Marshall, am running a 5 K. OK, ok, I know you marathon runners/triathaloners out there are laughing at me but I don't care. A 5 K is a pretty big accomplishment for this lazy girl. In fact getting me off the couch/out of the bed, down the stairs, and to my car is a big accomplishment. Let's not kid ourselves. But here I am, running a 5K.

Ellie Ambrose is an inspiring young woman. At the age of 10 she decided to do something about poverty in Africa. She created this run and here it is, five years in the running (no pun intended), stronger than ever and helping put more clothes on children's' backs, food in their mouths, and education in their lives. If I am going to run I can't think of a cause I would be more passionate about. That's what's going to get me through this little 5K. Maybe someday it will be what gets me through a marathon. We all know Ellie and the children of Africa have been through one.

If you would like to support my run please visit http://www.elliesrun.org/hero/libby-marshall

Being Active....

2009-06-06T13:14:00.000-07:00

Today is beautiful in Nashville. It is one of those days I am so grateful to the Lord for bringing me here. I recently bought a bike, I got a steal on Craigslist! So today in all this sunshine I biked to the gym, worked out with Heather, hung by the pool, went to Whole foods for lunch, and rode home. It's about a 20 minute bike ride to the Y. I got home and just about collapsed. I think what I really want to know is do I get this feeling of exhaustion? Is it because I am out of shape, getting older, or is this totally natural? It kinda reminded me of when I was a kid though. I would run all over the place and get completely tuckered out. I guess it's a good thing though, being that active. It does a body good, right?

Back to basics

2009-06-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I am starting a new blog. I haven't had a blog up and running in ages! I started blogging when I was like 15. Recently I got this random add on Facebook from a guy who had linked to my page back when we were 16! Seriously random. So it will be interesting to see how this new blog of mine comes back to bite me in the butt in 10 years.

The biggest reason I am doing this is to give me a space to get back to my writing. I haven't had a strong focus on writing in my life for the last two years and I think not having the outlet had started to get to me. Recently I took a course with my Women's Group through the book The Artist's Way. It really opened my eyes to how much of an artist I really am and how much I had been denying myself art filled outlets over the last few years. I am my own worst enemy, as most of us are. So here is my space, to share my thoughts, feelings, ramblings, reviews, opinions, etc. I may paste in old posts from time to time. Any and all comments are welcome, although I have a feeling no one will be reading this but little old me. If that's the case so be it, it's still a great outlet.